An American singer, musician, and actor, referred to as “the King”. This charming nickname emphasizes the singer’s propensity for rotating his pelvis in what some might describe is a vulgar manner. This is a refinement of the common label “Elvis the Pelvis”

Who is that youthful looking singing genius? It’s Elve the Pelve

An English singer, songwriter, pianist and composer who is more commonly known as Elton John. This charming nickname emphasizes the singer’s propensity for adorning his scalp with a variety of dubious looking wigs.

Who is that youthful looking singing genius? It’s Elt the Pelt

This is beyond any level of definition; the meaning is unknown and it is suspected that this is just pure jibberish, a mad fantasy that could only be dreamt up by an Ottregian or by a raving lunatic. It is impossible to predict the occurrence of such a phrase but it could happen at any time or place. EINER MEINER KRAUSEN!!!!!!!

See above

Spanish novel by Miguel de Cervantes. The common retort for an uncommon and difficult to spell crossword clue.

Spanish novel by Miguel de Cervantes? Don Quicksote!

A list of a sequence of actions in order to fulfil a specified task. You might think that this could very well be applied to a particularly calamitous IKEA assembly attempt but in fact is just a desultory boisterous play on the word “instructions”.

I am struggling to empty this septic tank Have you read the destructions? It’s not through the lack of destructions, James where are you?!

Used to replace the utterance or in direct response to the exclamation “2-2”. It is in honour of Desmond Tutu, the South African Anglican cleric and theologian known for his work as an anti-apartheid and human rights activist, although some may also conjecture it is because he has a funny name.

Liverpool achieved a creditable draw against the might of Manchester United ending in Desmond

The remains of anything broken down or destroyed. Phonetically verbally expressing the spelling of a word to help ameliorate any crossword spelling embarrassment. Of course extreme crossword embarrassment still occurs but it is now less prevalent.

Come on lets clear the table, let’s get rid of the debriss

Character in Cinderella who is the main servant to Prince Charming. But in fact this character just happens to be the answer to a myriad of other questions, especially those starting with “Which Shakespearean character..” Of course, the answers are always incorrect but maybe one glorious day the Dandini response (as it is affectionately known) will be a perfectly valid and correct retort.

Which Shakepearean character is the brother of Ophe….. Dandini!!!!!!

The annual festival of the Christian church celebrating the birth of Santa. This is simply a deliberate mispronouncing of Christmas.

Santa has got stuck in the chimley again, this happens every Crimpmas, I might need to find some buttox!

A part of a song that recurs at intervals. This is just an excuse to utter the word arse in a Devonshire flourish.

That Wagner really knows how to sing that choryarse

Any vertical structure by which the smoke of a fire is carried off, this is specifically the term used by either rednecks or Ottregians.

I’ve been cleaning the chimley again

A personal quality that gives an individual influence over large numbers of people. Emphasis is put on the first two letters and the pronunciation is taken literally as it is spelled. Again this is to avoid crossword foolishness.

Joe, I think you are showing your charisma in that bykinkee!

The smallest breed of dog named after the state in Mexico. This animal is very much a crossword annoyance (especially to those that cannot spell) in that its actual pronounced name and spelling are unrelated. Therefore an ingrained undulating train horn of an audible response ensures little chance of a crossword mishap.

question : smallest breed of dog named after the state in Mexico Chahooooooerhooooooer

A form of can not, deliberately mishearing the word “see you next tuesday” for comic effect. Over the years this has developed into an automatic reflex response.

Dad - I give up on this crossword!, this is the fifteenth one I have done today! You can’t! Dad - Don’t call me names!

A very brief, close-fitting, two-piece bath suit for women. Emphasis is put on the first syllable and the erotic nature of these bodily adornments by the incorporation of the word kink.

Joe, I think you would look great in a bykinkee

A dairy based soft spread for bread. The origin of this word is somewhat convoluted. It is a little anomalous in that most often words ending in ‘x’ are phonetically pronounced to aid in their spelling. However in this case this word can be initially accounted for by the similarity between the word butter and either of the two fleshy protuberances forming the lower and back part of the trunk. The flourish of the ‘x’ is as a result of the similarity between the word buttocks and the toxin injection used to create protuberances forming on the upper and lower part of the face.

dad, have you got any butter?, I need some for my mashed potatoes dad – buttox!?, yes I have some buttox

A small four wheeled vehicle. Mispronounced for comic effect; it is thought that the distorted verbal utterance should be analogous to “bug eye”. Extra points are awarded for extending the end of the word as long as possible.

When the children were very young I was always pushing the kids around in their bugayees

A building supply depot, formally called Bradfords. The Honiton based establishment also has the advantage of being situated just next to the train station But MOST importantly it has the advantage of being situated just next to the betting shop (see bill hill)

I’m just popping out out to Bradfields and I may be some time (see paragraph 2.)

The art or practice of fighting with the fists, especially those sporting combatants who have all sense beaten out of them, hence acquiring what it known as a split lip. For example Chrith Eubank. Intonation and pitch are also extremely important. Each successive use of the word must increase in pitch and intensity

do you want to watch some boxing? Dad - boxthing, boxthing, you mean watch some BOXTHING! (see paragraph 2.)

To enclose, hamper, pen in a horse, typically on the inner rail when racing. The chief proponent of this often misunderstood tactic is that of Willie Carson, but can also now be applied to any jockey / horse.

he’s doing a bloody boxcar!, a boxcar willie, he’s not going to win from there, get him out <insert jockey name>, get him out!

The act or process of acquiring knowledge or skill, especially by the simple minded person / ottregian. The Learning part is often accentuated by a Devonian Ottregian twang to emphasize the hard fought learning process and to accentuate the deep irony.

dad - I did some book learnin as a sprog

Very similar in nature to “black as a rook” except less black and more of a black black.

I’ve been cleaning the chimley again, and I came out blick, yes blick!

A colour that lacks hue and brightness, and in fact is darker than an extremely dark thing, similar in colour to the putrid bottomless stink hole of hell that only the devil frequents after a night out on the guinness.

I’ve been cleaning the chimley again, and I am as black as a rook.

A licensed bookmaking establishment that entices poor weak minded individuals from parting with their hard earned cash.

I am going to spend all day sampling the delights of this quaint village and drinking in its cultural delights, but I wonder if they have a Bill Hill?