The Mad Dash

Four minutes they say!, they are just around the corner!, ready, set, go!, the phone call is terminated and what ensues is a mad dash around the house.

Well mad isn't quite the applicable term anymore, it is now more of a practiced execution of known steps, repeated already this year a measly 15 times.

Firstly the central heating needs to be ignited, throw it up to 10 degrees hotter then hell!, the key here is a rapid escalation in temperature, enough to combat the soon to be arctic gusts streaming through the front door.

Next is the phone, now where did I put the damn thing, it was just in my hand, my sleep deprived brain could articulate a precise description of symptoms, an exact date and the spelling of an auditory incomprehensible surname, yes I still prefer Freddy to Foxtrot!

Ah, here it is!, still attached to my left hand, phew, what a relief. Apple you are a fine company in such a circumstance, the Medical ID facility is a simple, effective and apparently unheard of piece of tech, but please give us the option to ignore the lock screen, I want a single uninterrupted screen of medical ailments, not a focussed minute of perusal before the black keypad of death presents itself. It is a long list to examine and even longer if you are copying Amitriptyline one letter at a time using a dobber. Anyway, a swift flick of a finger and the screen will now NEVER turn off, not even when the battery dies or the earth gets swallowed by an ever expanding sun. An Apple battery is just simply that good.

Now for the bag, the gold rimmed bag, ahem, rose gold rimmed bag, the bag that is always ready for me, steadfast throughout the day, in the usual position, shining in the glow of a warming eco lighbulb, a never moving object, a …. wait, where is it?, someone has moved it, ah no, here it is, under the hospital blankets that were left from last time.

Keys to add, a mask, some money, yup a 20 pound note should cover the 2 mile taxi fare home, you never can be too careful, and finally the coup de grace, some tiny shoes.

In all this excitement I forgot to check the most important thing, how revealing are my pijamas!, oh no, not that, I mean how my girlfriend is feeling. I rush upstairs and examine her prone form, she is still conscious, and no, her hip and both shoulders haven't miraculously relocated themselves, I lean over to give her a kiss on the cheek, and at that very moment… there is a knock at the door!